The Power of Not Optimizing: Finding Space in Your Day

"The advice we often give others is the advice we need to hear most ourselves"

I was having a conversation with a friend I also coach, and we found ourselves in the same space—feeling overwhelmed by the constant juggle between our passions, work, and family. On the surface, we're very different. He’s an entrepreneur, running a business while balancing family life. I'm training for an IronMan, striving to perform at a high level in sales, and preparing for fatherhood. Yet, we share the same desire: to maintain good energy every single day.

That’s not always easy to achieve, though, especially when your days are packed with high-performance demands. The more you squeeze in—training, work, family, self-care—the more you feel you’re missing something, or worse, that you're not doing any of it well enough.

AI me juggling it all

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

I think it’s actually becoming harder right now to be content with your own efforts. You manage to fit in a 40-60min training session. You do your best to perfect your craft in work. And on top of that prioritise family life while making space for yourself in the last remaining few minutes of the day. Only to feel shit that someone on instagram seems to be able to do it better, bring in an extra million or two, be faster or stronger and somehow also might even have a family or social life.

All the while cramming more and more in looks to get more done on the surface but the quality isn’t great and it turns out to be less. Then after meeting for a 40min coffee and a chat you realise that 40mins gives you energy. It’s hard to give up that 40mins in your day, to find the space for someone else but more importantly yourself and to just socialise.

Do the training but enjoy the ride

That 40 minutes, whether it’s over a run or a coffee, is a reminder that you don’t have to optimize everything. Get your fundamentals right, enjoy those moments and include some of those coffee chats and catch ups because when with the right people, they give energy not take it. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is embrace the unoptimized because those are the moments that truly add value to your life.

In trying to optimize everything, we end up with less—less quality, less joy, and less energy.

Takeaways:

• Stop measuring your progress by what others are doing, and start measuring by what you need to feel aligned and energized.

• Focus on quality over quantity—sometimes, a short but meaningful interaction can recharge you more than another hour spent "doing."

• Embrace imperfection—life isn’t about constant optimization, it’s about balance and meaningful connection.